What are Your
Goals?
by Nikola Grubisa and Boris Vene
Have you ever asked yourself what you wanted from life? But not
in the way that kids do when dreaming ... Or put differently -
do you have any goals on what
direction you wish to move in? In all areas? Or are perhaps
your most important goals having money and a great career
...
Our goal is not just having money, but having it all!
Can you sense the difference? Or do you perhaps think that
money will solve your problems and "buy" all the rest you crave
for? I once thought the same ... until the words of John Gray
proved themselves right to me: money only multiplies the
condition the person is in.
And it's true. If we can't be happy when we're not doing so
well financially, money won't help either. It can only buy
more opportunities, in which your inner condition will
mirror itself; for instance, if you can't enjoy a beautiful
sunset, you won't know how to enjoy it with a lot of money
either (when you're going to have the time to admire it every
evening). Or if people don't see you as a friend now, they
won't see you as one when you're going to have money. You can
buy being popular in the society, but you can't buy friendship
... Because real friendship is never based on money; and it if
is, it's not friendship, it's a purchase.
Or: if you can't enjoy your drive to work today, then you
won't be able to enjoy it when you're going to have piles of
cash in your bank account. Or: if you don't feel good about
yourself today, it's not going to be any different with more
money. Yes, having heaps of money doesn't change these things!
Well, it can give you power over others, but will that really
make you feel better about yourself?
Perhaps you're thinking right now that this just isn't so
and that everything will be different then ... Perhaps it will
be. But let me tell you a story about some acquaintances of
mine.
How Money (doesn't) Changes Your Life
My old friend's family is one of the most well known and
most successful families in the town I was born in. The father
and mother have owned a restaurant with boarding rooms
practically "ever since" - it was their primary source of
income and their passion. And besides, they also built a great
mansion, big as a castle, where they rent rooms and host larger
groups of clients. And not to forget the family hotel by the
sea.
When their sons grew up their parents built them a business
building: a flower, cosmetics and children's store for one, and
a coffee and tea production house for the other.
Years ago, when their parents had all this, their sons
decided to send them on a vacation. Literally - their parents
never went on a longer vacation because they "had
to work"! When they asked them where they wanted to go they
decided for a health resort. For 14 days.
The sons organized everything and did everything humanly
possible to assure their parents are going to have a great
time. And they went. And they enjoyed themselves. And they came
back ... after two days!!! That's exactly how long it took
for them to come back home, because they couldn't stand being
away from their work for so long ... they enjoyed their work
this much.
The fact is - the parents didn't come back because of the
work or because they were worried and had to work, they came
back for themselves and their own pleasure.
This is a pattern. We are beings that within
ourselves build certain patters on the basis of which we then
act - regardless of everything else. And the more often we
exercise them, the more they become embedded within us. Do you
know of anyone who once said: "I'll work had for a few years
and then just enjoy myself", and he then just couldn't stop
working hard ... ever?! This is it ... So don't allow
yourself to waste your life in such a way. It's not about
money, it's about your attitude to yourself. Once a
certain pattern controls you no money in this world can help
...
When You Turn to Yourself
That is why we will foremost discuss ourselves. When
you solve this greatest problem that you, thank God, can
influence, you will solve everything! Just don't fall in to the
trap where you think that others are to blame for everything
bad that is happening to you ...
One of the most difficult and greatest things you can do is
take responsibility for everything! Just like a finger you
point at someone and say: "You are to blame for all my
problems" --- only this time turn that finger to yourself!
Can you do this? This is actually the only way to exploit
all of your potential in life: as long as you believe others
are to blame for what is happening to you in your life you'll
want to influence them to start acting differently. In most
cases you won't only not succeed in changing the person, but
you will also start feeling anger, jealousy, a lack of power,
etc.
This leads to wars, not happiness.
But when you within yourself awake all you are seeking on
the outside, you will never again have to walk the path of
searching and discontent. Everything will be waiting for you at
your leisure!
Do a short and simple exercise: imagine someone standing in
front of you. Point your finger at them as if you wanted to say
"You are to blame!"
Now take a look at where the other fingers are pointing -
one (the thumb) is pointing at God (in to the air), and the
remaining three are pointing back at you.
This is the most realistic image when it comes to
responsibility in this situation: you are three times more
responsible for what is happening to yourself than the person
you are speaking with ...
The Recommended Activity
Break the patterns in your life and prepare for
changes! If you can act without getting caught in to
something you are doing without a clear reason - but only
because you have been doing it practically "forever" - you are
going to start moving forward much faster. This is actually the
only possibility to really succeed in life ...
Again start with something small ...
Thomas Keller recommends a very simple exercise: take some
time and move all the accessories you have in your kitchen
closets. Replace the saucers with cups and cups with glasses,
etc. Move everything! This is not about whether you need to do
this or about "making things look better", but about "breaking
your routine".
Your habits and routines are some of the most powerful
barriers to achieving success and growing personally!
Continue by selecting five of your most important daily
activities for which you believe that are the most important
for your success. For instance, marketing your services, your
sales presentations, your continuing investment education,
etc.
Now take a look at what you are doing "out of habit" or
"unconsciously" and what activities you select as you go and
consciously. The last are probably those that give you a
feeling you are controlling them. They are giving you a feeling
that you are in control!
For the last step now decide you are going to at least once
try doing differently those activities you are doing out of
habit; but not in an unpleasant way or in a way that will make
you suffer, but in such a way that those activities will be
fun to do!
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